At the beginning of this year (side note: how is it October already?) Y and I were challenged to pray through different topics, one being a personal theme for the year of 2016. I felt like "Fulfillment" was a word impressed on my heart. And truth be told, I was hoping it would look like "Fulfillment of God's promises of a child".
In May, two days before Mother's Day, Y and I found out.. I'm pregnant! There I said it. Even though I'm two weeks short of my third trimester, it still boggles my mind that there's a baby growing in my belly.
I'm learning that pregnancy, like any season, is one to be embraced. And to embrace is an active, proactive, intentional thing. And that's not always so easy. Despite our journey here, I will be the first to admit that there have been times of grumbling, fear and uncertainty. Let's just say, first trimester was no walk in the park. (I equate my experience with morning sickness as motion sickness + indigestion + food poisoning, all wrapped up in a messy package and thrown at your, around the clock.)
Second trimester could not be more different. Though I've had the occasional pangs of anxiety or worry, thankfully, they have been mostly fleeting and I have been filled with a sense of awe and wonder - how my body has been changing, how this baby is growing - of the miracle of life.
The planner in me is always eager to make endless lists: what to research, what to buy, what to ask the doctor at my next visit, what to get ready. There's a lot of processing going on inside this brain of my mine, wondering what the baby will look like, what I will be like as a mom. Sometimes, I feel tossed back and forth in the wind by this piece of advice, that suggestion. But I'm learning to slow down, to roll with the punches. And ultimately, I am always in need of reminders that this is a fulfillment of God's promises.