Quality time is the best time

by Grace Ko

Have you ever heard of The Five Love Languages

Well, in a nutshell...

If I were to tell my husband "I love you" in Finnish, but he did not speak Finnish, no matter how much I said it, how often I said it, how passionately I said it, he would not feel loved because I was speaking in a language he cannot understand. 

And according to Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages, there are five love languages: words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, quality time, and physical touch. In order for an individual to "feel loved", they need to receive love in their love language. 

Let me just tell you, this one concept alone has helped Y and me in our marriage tremendously. Prior to realizing our respective love languages, we were finding ourselves becoming increasingly frustrated. We were both putting in effort to love the other, but our individual "love tanks" alerted us with a red light: empty. It's no surprise that we had completely opposite love languages and were only accustomed to speaking our love language and not the other's love language. In no way, shape or form is our marriage free from arguments or bickering. But knowing each other's love language has helped us channel our energy more effectively to show our love. 

I've learned my primary love language is quality time. I feel most loved, energized, refreshed, invigorated when I get quality time with loved ones. And this weekend, I got to spend quality time with my parents and with Y. It consisted of strolling and shopping, brunching and lunching. 

My mom arrived Thursday evening. We picked her up from the train station and went straight to dinner. We feasted on a delicious meal. Friday morning, my mom and I headed out to an appointment together and then Y met us for lunch. At the recommendation of a friend, we went to Burger B @Coex for burgers of many kinds and shoestring fries. 

Saturday morning, after sleeping in a bit, the three of us headed out to brunch at Suji's Deli. It felt like we were in New York City, with its long lines for brunch. But we filled the wait with conversations reminiscing on the past, counting our blessings. 

We walked around, popped in and out of shops and discovered how to get to an underground shopping mall that I had been wanting to go to. My mom and I both left with two pieces each. We picked up my dad and then went to a park. 

 A break from our walk: 가위 바위 보!

A break from our walk: 가위 바위 보!

We finished the evening off with dinner and movie at our place before my parents headed back down. 

I love these weekends because quality time is the best time.