A page is turned

One of the things Y and I wanted to do as parents early on was instill a love for reading. We started early with J while he was in my belly with the husband reading to him everyday - we were not able to keep up with this with pregnancies #2 and 3 but we continue to read with our kids every day.

We try to keep the toys in our household to a minimal, as minimal as possible with three kids, but books are a different story. We seem to have books in every corner, every room. And with access to great local libraries here, there’s a constant rotation.

With three kids, all at very different stages with very different interests, I want to share what we’re reading in our household. So here’s to sharing books we’re loving with the kids in this series, “A page is turned”.

Fun fact: Bebo Norman’s “A Page is Turned” is a song near and dear to us. Y turned this song on his MP3 player (MP3 player… that’s a blast from the past, ain’t it?) on our first official date and we each took an earphone and listened as we walked the bustling streets of Manhattan. Here’s to paying homage to this special song now as a family of five.

In good company

We made a reunion happen this past weekend, one of epic proportions because we were meeting each other’s daughters for the first time. All three (!) of our daughters were shy at first acquaintance but time quickly softened them. Kids pick up cues from their parents and I think our girls knew in their hearts that we’re family.

The forecast was rain the entire time but that didn’t stop us. It kept us cozy indoors baking cookies, occasionally burying our noses in books or fixing our eyes on the screen playing Disney. M came bearing gifts. Among them were bubbles for the kids so they got suited up in rain gear and jumped around in equal parts puddles and bubbles. We welcomed a frog visitor, examining its underside as it hung onto our window. We snapped photos of the girls matching pajamas, and much time was spent around our dear dining table.

When I think of what I miss about being in proximity to friends, it’s often the little things - a good cup of coffee together, late-night chats preferably over wine and cheese, sharing space to work/dream/dance/sing/snack/cry/celebrate.

“i miss the days my friends
knew every mundane detail about my life
and i knew every ordinary detail about theirs
adulthood has starved me of that consistency
that us
the walks around the block
the long conversations when we were
too lost in the moment to care what time it was
when we won and celebrated
when we failed and celebrated harder
when we were just kids
...
i miss knowing i once belonged
to a group of people bigger than myself
that belonging made life easier to live
”

— rupi kaur "home body"

This friendship, it’s more like we’re kindred souls. It’s one where we discover we’ve been navigating the same season, wrestling the same giants, just from our respective locations. We’re often on the same wavelength, learning we’ve been reading the same exact book, grappling with its contents.

There’s an ease, a comfort in being raw, completely vulnerable - sharing the very things that have been weighing on my shoulders and my heart because I’ve been carrying them alone. There’s a warmth in being able to lay down that burden and know I’m fully loved, fully known.

Now I’m left with these polaroids to look at and am desperately searching for flights to make another reunion happen asap.

Motherhood: A Good Enough Lunch

Last week, J & O went on a school field trip. The theme for the trip was “엄마표 도시락” - “Packed lunch box c/o mommy”.

On field trip day, I woke up early at 6 a.m. to make fresh rice for their lunches. I put aside snacks and drinks. I got their outfits ready, fed them breakfast, got them washed up, dressed and out the door. Oh, and I couldn’t forget putting on sunscreen and mosquito patched on them, thanks to the kind reminders from their teachers via texts. (So thankful for their loving teachers. God bless their souls.)

Amid the morning chaos, I also managed to make omelettes for my parents (who were staying with us last week) and prepped things so that I could take my mom to an appointment while my dad stayed home with the baby. I patted myself on the back for all that I had accomplished by 9 a.m.

But come 4 p.m. when the daily photo updates came from school, I wasn’t feeling quite the same. There were pictures of the kids in a lush green field sitting on blankets with each of their lunches laid out in front of them. These lunches… Kimbap made in the shape of kitties and rice balls that looked like pandas. Sausages cut to look like octopi. And then there were my kids’ rice balls, which were just that, balls of rice.

Truthfully, earlier that morning, I had prided myself in cooking bulgogi to put in the rice balls (usually it’s just rice, seaweed and some seasoning). But that pride quickly dissolved and in its place was shame. “Why hadn’t I thought to make their lunches cute? Why didn’t I make it more special and memorable for them?”

Why…? Well, honestly, because life with three kids is often a mess. And so I quickly shook it off and told myself, “Grace, it’s okay. Your three children were fed and clothed and cared for today. A pinterest-worthy lunchbox isn’t the goal. Your lunch was good enough.”

In a country of convenience and efficiency, lunch on field trips in Korea these days is often store-bought kimbap. So a packed lunch from home is a novelty in and of itself, hence the theme for the trip. With the intent understood, there’s no need for guilt. I tell myself, “That was good enough.”

And plus, they look like they had a blast. :)

여유

여유가 있으니
초록이 보이네
그의 많은 면
초록빛이 치유 해준다
다독여 준다
애썼다고
기운내라고

With rest, I see green
Its many hues and shades
Its light heals me
It pats me on the back
telling me, “You’ve done good”
to rest and recharge

Dreams Come True

Maybe it was adrenaline or nerves and anticipation. But the night before Disneyland, after the kids went to bed, Y and I couldn’t fall asleep right away. So we stayed up for a bit talking. And that’s when I learned that when my husband went to “the happiest place on earth” during college, he promised himself he would come back with his wife and kids one day.

He didn’t get to go as a kid - a child of immigrant parents who worked six days a week running their small business with Sundays devoted to church. There was little opportunity for family vacations.

But exactly twenty years later, his dream came true.

It felt like a “full circle” moment. Not only did his dream of coming with wife + kids (and three at that!) come true, but this trip was made possible by my in-laws. Though Y didn’t get to go as a kid, it felt even more meaningful that his parents got to treat not only their children but their grandchildren as well (!) and experience it all together (6 adults and 6 children!)

It was a jam-packed day that left me sore and exhausted the next but it was definitely one for the books. Disney is certainly for everyone :)

• J was starstruck seeing stormtroopers (his recent obsession has been “The Mandolorian” series on Disney+) and got to ride the Millenium Falcon!

• O got to meet Disney princesses, and fell in love with Sweet Daisy (picture), dressed up like Jawa (her favorite from the Mandolorian) for a picture. She was a champ - walked the entire time at the park (minus a short nap in the stroller)!

• N took in all the sights, sounds and smells and we’re lucky she was content throughout the day.

We met Mickey and his friends, enjoyed cotton candy and other sugary goodness, experienced the magic of the Disney parade, watched a show, and rode on as many rides as we could possibly get on.

It was a magical day indeed.